On the District Line to Wimbledon (Tuesday afternoon):



guy: I prefer my white underwear, but none of your designer shit

On the 141 bus to London Bridge, Monday morning:



girl 1: Sometimes it's better to have sex with strangers.
girl 2: Sometimes it's better not to have sex at all.

On the 76 Bus, Fleet St to N1 (Friday Evening):



guy: I can't wait to get out and play in the snow...

On the Northern Line (Old St to Bank), Wednesday Morning:



guy1: He tried his best to pick me up...
guy2: He was wasting his time, I remember you were a crap shag!

At the King's Head Pub (Islington), Tuesday Night:



girl: I could see up his pants.
guy: I wanted to be up his pants.

On the train (High Wycombe to Marylebone) Friday evening:



schoolboy 1: I need a fucking wank
schoolboy 2: You need a fucking wank now

On the train (Marylebone-High Wycombe), Friday morning:



Man 1: Now and again I dip into the red
Man 2: Ouch

On the 76 bus (from Bank) Monday evening:



I think he's on heat.

Waiting for the 76 bus, N1 to Bank (Friday morning):



Foreman to Polish builder: So, do you have a girlfriend...or a boyfriend?
Polish Builder: Yes

On the 76 bus, Fleet St to Old St (Friday evening):



Guy 1: It was a gay orgy organised by a German lord.
Guy 2: How many peope do you need to have an orgy anyway?

On the Northern Line, Old Street to Bank (Sunday lunchtime):



Woman: My feet ache a lot more since having the baby

On the 76, Sat night (Aldwych to Old St):



Boy 1: So were you drunk then?
Boy 2: Yes, but I hide my drinking from my boyfriend

On the 21 bus (to Bank), Thursday morning:



The chap I was seeing at the time was shagging his ex in between us. That was Mark.

On the 76 bus (to Bank, Wednesday morning):



You can't go to your Christmas party and not drink

On the 21 bus (Old St to Bank), Wednesday morning:



I can't imagine Mark doing anything like that. He's all about social propriety.

On the 21 Bus, Tuesday evening (Bank to Old St):



It's a wee bit lumpy

On the 76 bus, Old St to Fleet St (Tuesday morning):



[chav girl on the phone, after 3 minutes + of talking]
Oh shit, I've dialed the wrong number

On the Central Line, Bond Street to Bank (Tuesday Evening):



I'd put him next on my list of people to do

On the Central Line, St. Paul's to Bond Street (Friday afternoon):



This is your art?

On the 21 bus, by the Bank of England, Wednesday morning:



Bethnal Green. It isn't too far. But it's a pain in the arse to get to.