Waiting for the 76 Bus, Aldwych (Wednesday night):



Guy: I always look forward to showering with the guys after a game. The chat's usually good.

On the 21 bus Bank to N1:



Guy 1: You know I'm feeling quite insane and young again...
Guy 2: Lord knows you are a fool in your flurry of a first affair, you think? Shit, I know it.

At Gatwick Airport, Sunday afternoon:



guy 1 (to friend/partner?): There are always Angels around, but no more so than at Christmas. For you and me. Always. I promise.
guy 2: Hold me close?

On the 73 bus, Essex Road (contributed by Brendan UK):



Girl 1: I’m goin round Sarah’s house.
Girl 2: Sarah? I hate her.
Girl 1: Which Sarah you talkin about? This is the Sarah who keeps on about my brother, you know, when we was sunbathing.
Girl 2: Oh that Sarah. l hate her as well.

In a bar in Belgravia, SW1 (Saturday night):



guy (to another guy): You know how they say Christmas comes but once a year? Fortunately I don't. I cum a lot more frequently and lots...You believe me?

On the District Line to Wimbledon (Tuesday afternoon):



guy: I prefer my white underwear, but none of your designer shit

On the 141 bus to London Bridge, Monday morning:



girl 1: Sometimes it's better to have sex with strangers.
girl 2: Sometimes it's better not to have sex at all.

On the 76 Bus, Fleet St to N1 (Friday Evening):



guy: I can't wait to get out and play in the snow...

On the Northern Line (Old St to Bank), Wednesday Morning:



guy1: He tried his best to pick me up...
guy2: He was wasting his time, I remember you were a crap shag!

At the King's Head Pub (Islington), Tuesday Night:



girl: I could see up his pants.
guy: I wanted to be up his pants.

On the train (High Wycombe to Marylebone) Friday evening:



schoolboy 1: I need a fucking wank
schoolboy 2: You need a fucking wank now

On the train (Marylebone-High Wycombe), Friday morning:



Man 1: Now and again I dip into the red
Man 2: Ouch

On the 76 bus (from Bank) Monday evening:



I think he's on heat.

Waiting for the 76 bus, N1 to Bank (Friday morning):



Foreman to Polish builder: So, do you have a girlfriend...or a boyfriend?
Polish Builder: Yes

On the 76 bus, Fleet St to Old St (Friday evening):



Guy 1: It was a gay orgy organised by a German lord.
Guy 2: How many peope do you need to have an orgy anyway?

On the Northern Line, Old Street to Bank (Sunday lunchtime):



Woman: My feet ache a lot more since having the baby

On the 76, Sat night (Aldwych to Old St):



Boy 1: So were you drunk then?
Boy 2: Yes, but I hide my drinking from my boyfriend

On the 21 bus (to Bank), Thursday morning:



The chap I was seeing at the time was shagging his ex in between us. That was Mark.

On the 76 bus (to Bank, Wednesday morning):



You can't go to your Christmas party and not drink

On the 21 bus (Old St to Bank), Wednesday morning:



I can't imagine Mark doing anything like that. He's all about social propriety.

On the 21 Bus, Tuesday evening (Bank to Old St):



It's a wee bit lumpy

On the 76 bus, Old St to Fleet St (Tuesday morning):



[chav girl on the phone, after 3 minutes + of talking]
Oh shit, I've dialed the wrong number

On the Central Line, Bond Street to Bank (Tuesday Evening):



I'd put him next on my list of people to do

On the Central Line, St. Paul's to Bond Street (Friday afternoon):



This is your art?

On the 21 bus, by the Bank of England, Wednesday morning:



Bethnal Green. It isn't too far. But it's a pain in the arse to get to.

On the 76 bus from St Paul's to Moorgate, Tuesday evening (boys who were coming from the gym):



I've topped four times in five days

Overheard at Notting Hill Carnival (Monday) - girl speaking to another girl:

'he's such a teaser!!'

(Click on the pic to reveal contributor).

On the number 4 bus (Upper Street to Fleet Street), Saturday morning:



We shared a fairly frantic tumble

On the 21 bus (still heading home from Moorgate, 23 August):



No point in thinking, I'll carry on my drinking

On the 21 bus (Wednesday evening, Moorgate to home):



I don't know why I don't like all my friends

On the 73 bus, from Oxford St to Angel, Friday afternoon:



I'm not sitting next to Jamal. He smells.

On the 76 from Waterloo (Friday evening, slightly later):



Yes. And it's very nice...

On the 76 bus from Waterloo (Friday evening):



I think it incapacitates him.

On the train (Brighton to London Bridge) Saturday evening:



Woman on mobile: Where are you?
Guy in carriage: In Uranus
WoM: Where are you?
GiC: In Uranus
WoM: Are you still in Preston Park?
GiC: No, I'm in your-a-nus

On the Circle Line (Monument-Blackfriars, Thursday morning):



I don't want to sit on that

On the 73 Bus (Oxford St to Angel):



Do you smell BO?

On the Central Line (Bank to Bond Street-and very quietly whispered, and cleverly overheard):



Look at his bulge

On the Jubilee Line (Bond St to Baker St):



You are not my husband

On the 141 to Turnpike Lane (Sat am):



I need an academic advisor to point the way

On the Northern Line (Old Street to King's Cross-Sunday lunchtime):



Bigotry has never been exclusively white

On the 76 bus from Fleet Street (Friday evening):



She let me take her bra off because of this heat

On the Circle Line (Blackfriars to Monument-Monday evening):



...and I think it was starting to show a damp patch from the sweat in this heat.

On the Central Line (Bond Street to Bank-Tues afternoon):




He should be hung. Fcuking well hung.

On the Victoria Line to Highbury & Islington (Tues afternoon):



I'm really worried about my endowment shortfall

On the Central Line to Bank (Sunday afternoon):



Why didn't you try to soften him up?

On the 38 bus from Angel (Saturday): Doesn't it sound feudal?

Queens Theatre, Shaftesbury Ave (2): Mine's hard

Queens Theatre, Shaftesbury Avenue (1): Is Häagen-Dazs a german name?

On the 73 bus from Tottenham Court Road (yesterday): She ain't my sista. She's my sister.

On the 38 bus home: It's true cross my heart.