On the train (High Wycombe to Marylebone) Friday evening:



schoolboy 1: I need a fucking wank
schoolboy 2: You need a fucking wank now

On the train (Marylebone-High Wycombe), Friday morning:



Man 1: Now and again I dip into the red
Man 2: Ouch

On the 76 bus (from Bank) Monday evening:



I think he's on heat.

Waiting for the 76 bus, N1 to Bank (Friday morning):



Foreman to Polish builder: So, do you have a girlfriend...or a boyfriend?
Polish Builder: Yes

On the 76 bus, Fleet St to Old St (Friday evening):



Guy 1: It was a gay orgy organised by a German lord.
Guy 2: How many peope do you need to have an orgy anyway?

On the Northern Line, Old Street to Bank (Sunday lunchtime):



Woman: My feet ache a lot more since having the baby

On the 76, Sat night (Aldwych to Old St):



Boy 1: So were you drunk then?
Boy 2: Yes, but I hide my drinking from my boyfriend