On the 141 bus, Old St to home, New Year's Eve 2009



Girl on phone (not an iPhone): Yeah, all my friends are going to a house party, but I don't want to go to the party of some girl who got off with my boyfriend...

Christmas Eve, at the baker shop:



And fit aboot the double shortbread? You'll be haein' it see'n as it's the weekend?

On the Tube, Monday morning before Christmas:



Ginger's very good for you this time of year.

Saturday morning, 4.23am, online:



I don't want to be known as a gay rugby player. I am a rugby player first and foremost. I am a man.

Misheard on Saturday night in Shoreditch:



There's a crack in every pavement, underneath there is a bitch

Heathrow Airport, T5 - Wednesday last week:



I like to sew the seeds of love...